


I Can Barely Breathe

by malecplusotherthings



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Canon Divergence, F/M, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:54:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29759247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecplusotherthings/pseuds/malecplusotherthings
Summary: An Angsty as fuck fic for Fabian Prewett and Amethyst Black. Amethyst is my OC. She is Sirius’ twin and the only girl marauder. Her animagus is an arctic fox called Zerry. This is a war time fic where they are all 20. It is set a little after Gideon dies, toward the end of the war. Fabian breaks up with Meth because he doesn’t want her to hurt in case he dies too and he refuses to listen to any sort of reason. There is major heartbreak.
Relationships: Fabian Prewett/Amethyst Black (OC)
Kudos: 2





	I Can Barely Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: first of all, I am so sorry. If you had formed any kind of attachment to Amethyst, you would hate me for this. Sorry? In my defense, my last fic was fluffy and I think that makes up for whatever I’m going to do now. I did get a little carried away so this is a little longer than my typical one-shots and well oops. Sirius does not go to Azkaban and Fabian does not die in this for the sake of my sanity.

Nobody likes a war or the destruction it brings. The Wizarding War against death eaters was taking the lives of many young witches and wizards. Just last week, the Order had lost a few of its members. Amethyst had lost her friends, and Fabian had lost his brother. It had been a tough few days for everyone. However, the war had not slowed down for any of them. The missions had not stopped despite the harsh circumstances. Amethyst sat at her desk at the Headquarters of the Order, finishing up her latest mission report. Her dark hair was tied in a messy bun. Once done, she filed it away and gathered all her belongings. The small watch on her wrist, a graduation gift from her wonderful boyfriend, told her it was a little before midnight.

“Hey, Marls?” Amethyst called, letting her hair free of its ties.

“Yes, luv?” Marlene Mckinnon had been a dear friend of Meth since they were both eleven. She had grown into a brave and beautiful young woman.

“I’m going to head home. If you need anything, let me know, alright?”

“I’ll be fine. Enjoy your night off.” Marlene then winked at her causing Amethyst to chuckle. She really admired Marlene for her ability to joke at a time like this. The two girls said their goodbyes and Amethyst left Marlene to finish her patrolling shift for the night.

Amethyst apparated outside the apartment she shared with her boyfriend of the last four years, Fabian Prewett. She slid her key into the brown wooden door and pushed it open. She put all her stuff on the chair in the corner and tossed her jacket on the bed.

“Sweetheart?”

“I’m out here.” Fabian’s voice came from the balcony. Amethyst poured them some hot tea and joined her boyfriend outside. She put their glasses on the railing and slid her arm through Fabian’s.

“Couldn’t sleep?” She asked. Fabian shook his head. Amethyst slowly ran her hand through his hair and then kept her head on his shoulder. “Want to talk about it?”

Fabian let out a long sigh. “Meth, what are we doing?”

“We’re fighting a war is what we’re doing.”

“No, I mean, what are  _ we _ doing?” Amethyst frowned slightly.

“What are you talking about? Is this about Gideon?”

“No. Actually, yes. That’s exactly what this is about.” Amethyst cupped her boyfriend’s face in her hands. Her grey eyes peered into his blue ones.

“Talk to me, sweetheart.” Fabian looked at her and let off a breath Amethyst hadn’t realized he was holding.

“It could’ve been me. I was there, on that mission. I could have been hit. I-I could have died.”

“But you didn't, Fab!”

“Not this time!” Fabian’s voice rose in volume. “I see the fear in your eyes when I don’t come back on time. I know how terrified you were when you heard about Gideon. I know how much it scares you that I could just not come back one day. I can’t keep doing that to you.”

“What...What are you saying?” Amethyst inquired, even though she already had an idea of what’s coming.

“You know what I’m saying, Meth. Don’t make me say it.” Amethyst dropped her hands from Fabian’s face and took a step back. 

“You’re breaking up with me.”

“Amethyst…”

“No! What do you think this will achieve, Fabian? Do you think breaking up with me will make me hate you? I loved you before we even got together. Why would that change now?”

“I am so sorry.” Fabian’s voice was heavy.

“Would you not care? If I...If I died tomorrow, would you not care anymore?”

“Of course, I would. You know I would.”

“Then why the fuck are my feelings any different?!” Amethyst yelled, tears now streaming down her face. Fabian could do nothing but look at her with an apologetic expression on his face. Meth then spoke again, her voice down to nothing but a broken whisper, “That’s how you want to do it then?”

“It’s the only way I know how.” Amethyst stepped closer to Fabian and put her hands on his shoulders.

“Kiss me,” She whispered, against his mouth. “If I do die tomorrow, I want that to be the last thing you did to me.”

Fabian snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. He then leaned down and kissed her as though he never had before. Just for one second, Amethyst forgot what was going on.

“I love you, Fabian Prewett,” Meth whispered through her tears as they broke apart.

“I love you, too.” Amethyst shot him a small smile as she headed back inside, grabbed her jacket, and headed out the door.

Once she had walked out that door, however, Amethyst realized that she had no idea what to do next or where to go. The only place that came to mind was her brother’s, Sirius’, place. Sirius had been by her side her whole life. He had always sheltered her from their parents. So she closed her eyes and she Apparated.

As Amethyst stood outside their front door, she noticed the lights inside were off. However, despite her better judgment, she knocked on their door. She just didn’t want to be alone at the moment. After a few seconds, she saw the light switch on inside and heard footsteps coming toward the door.

“Who is it?” She heard a sleepy voice she recognized and Remus Lupin’s, Sirius’ long-term boyfriend and one of Amethyst’s best friends.

“It’s Meth. Amethyst.”

There was a short pause before Remus continued, “What did you say when I first told you about liking your brother?”

“I said, ‘About damn time.’ And then I dog-piled you.” Amethyst’s voice was heavy, laced with emotion. She heard the locks click and the door swung open. Remus looked at her tear-stained face and immediately pulled her into the apartment.

“Amethyst! What’s wrong?” He asked her as he sat her down on the sofa.

The dark-haired girl shook her head. “Can I just stay here for tonight?”

“Did Fabian do something? SIRIUS! GET IN HERE!”

It didn’t take too long for Amethyst’s twin brother to walk out of the bedroom he shared with Remus.

“Meth? What’s wrong?! It’s 1 AM.”

Amethyst told him about Fabian, tears streaming down her stormy grey eyes as her brother wrapped his arms around her.

***

It had been a few months since Fabian had broken up with Amethyst. It had gotten a little easier for her to run into him during the meetings of the Order. Not easy, no, but easier. She had moved in with her brother and Remus, both of whom were currently on a mission with Lily and James and a few other members of the order. That left Meth alone to babysit the Potters’ one-year-old son, Harry. She slowly lifted the baby from the bassinet Lily had dropped off and propped him up on her lap.

“It’s just you and me, kid.” Harry’s arms reached out to grab the glasses off her face. She laughed. “Can you say ‘Meth’, Harry? Hm?”

Baby Harry Potter looked at her with his big green eyes. Then, with all the power in his little body, he said, “Meh.”

“Close enough.”

“Please don’t teach my son how to say ‘Meth’.” Amethyst turned around and saw her redhead friend standing in the doorway. James, Remus, and Sirius were with her too.

“You’re back early. How did the hunt go?” Meth asked, handing Harry to his mother.

“Still no news on Peter.” Remus prompted. Peter Pettigrew was a friend of theirs from Hogwarts. He had joined the Order with them but had been missing for quite some time.

“I hope he’s alright,” James said, clearly worried for their friend. Lily reached out and took her husband’s hand in her own, attempting to comfort him. Amethyst smiled at her friends and the little boy with bright eyes. She knew that whatever happens, she could always count on them to be there for her.

***

_ December 1981 _

The war was over. Losing James and Lily was one of the hardest things Amethyst had ever dealt with. However, Sirius, Remus, and baby Harry Potter were always there for her. As she was for them. The last two months had been tough, but their life was slowly getting back to normal. Amethyst was at Hogsmeade, doing a grocery run for the house. She had picked up some chocolate for Harry (and Remus). Her last stop, of course, was Rosemerta’s.

“Hey, darling. Two fire whiskeys and a butterbeer, please.” She said to the woman behind the counter as she dug her pockets for galleons.

“Amethyst?” She heard a voice behind her. She turned around to a tall, ginger boy staring at her with his blue eyes.

“Fabian, uh, hi.”

“You...you look good.” He flashed her a smile, the kind that once made her heart flutter. Hell, it still did. She nodded and there was a silence between them. “Amethyst, I’m really sorry.”

“For what?”

“For what happened to James and Lily. And for what I did. I should have been there for you.”

“Fab, that was six months ago.” Amethyst turned to grab her drinks off of the counter, trying not to meet Fabian’s eye.

“I’ve fucking missed you, Meth. Every day for the last six months. Letting you go was the stupidest decision I ever made.” He said once they had left Rosmerta’s tavern.

“Fab…” Amethyst noticed he was standing a lot closer to her than he was a few moments ago. Suddenly, Amethyst was 15 again and all her feelings came rushing back to her. Before she had the chance to question her decision, she stood on her toes and kissed Fabian. She had almost forgotten how good that felt. His arms instinctively went to her waist and hers went around his neck. As they broke away, Amethyst buried her face into his neck while her hands still rested on his shoulders. They stayed like that, with his arms still around her hips, for a few moments until Fabian spoke again.

“Meth?”

“Hmm?”

“Would you like to grab a drink with me on Friday?” She looked at him and laughed. Genuine laughter, the kind she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

“I’d love to.”


End file.
